What to Do When Life Feels Like a Bit Too Much?

More often than I’d like, I find myself in a situation where everything feels overwhelming.

And when I say everything, I really mean everything.

A scent. 

A light. 

A sound. 

A texture. 

A movement. 

A task. 

A feeling.

Sometimes it feels like my whole being is too much to process at once. There are simply too many things happening, and my brain can’t make sense of them all. Your experience might be completely different from mine. But perhaps you know the feeling:

Something is very wrong. It is all too much. And you really, really need it to stop.

When everything becomes too much

When we’re extremely overwhelmed, thinking clearly can become difficult. Our nervous system may shift into a survival response, making it harder to plan, problem-solve, or come up with creative solutions. Instead, we might find ourselves in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

This is why I’ve found it helpful to create a personal crisis plan while I’m feeling calm. When I’m calm, I can think about what helps me feel safer, more comfortable, and more regulated. Then, when things become overwhelming, I don’t have to figure everything out from scratch. It works as a selection menu that I can use in a challenging situation and always pick the most suitable option(s). 

My list includes:

• a quiet, dark room

• comfortable clothes

• a nice drink

• a meditation

• a walk

• a familiar, friendly face

• my favourite song

• a hot bath

• a nourishing meal

• or stuffing my face into my cat’s belly

Your list might look completely different. And that’s exactly how it should be.

How to create your personal crisis plan

I recommend to try this exercise when you’re feeling relatively calm.

1. Think of a time when things felt too much

You don’t need to choose your most difficult experience. A moderately challenging situation is enough.

Take a moment to remember it.

Where were you?

What were you wearing?

Who was there?

What could you hear or smell?

What was happening around you?

What was happening inside your body?

Try to remember enough details to get a sense of what that experience was like.

But don’t push yourself. 

If remembering becomes too uncomfortable, stop. Open your eyes, look around, and remind yourself that you are here and safe. You could name five things you can see around you to help bring yourself back to the present.

2. Ask yourself: “What did I need?”

Now gently ask yourself:

What would have made that situation easier?

Maybe you needed less noise.

Maybe you needed to leave.

Maybe you needed someone to stop talking to you.

Maybe you needed food, water, warmth, movement, pressure, rest, or medication.

Maybe you needed someone to say: “You don’t have to do this right now.”

There is no wrong answer.

3. Write down what helps

Your crisis plan can include anything that supports you.

It might be:

• a phrase or reminder

• a favorite song

• a sensory object

• comfortable clothing

• a particular food or drink

• a grounding exercise

• medication that is part of your usual care or that has been prescribed to you

• someone you can contact

• a place where you feel safe

• an action that helps you regulate

• permission to stop or postpone something

Keep your list somewhere you can easily find it. You might put it in your phone, write it on a piece of paper, or keep it somewhere visible at home.

Practice when you’re calm

Look at your list occasionally when you’re feeling okay. The goal isn’t to memorize it perfectly. You’re simply becoming familiar with the things that help you. Then, when your thinking becomes difficult, you already have somewhere to start.

I like to think of it as leaving a note for your future overwhelmed self:

“I know you're mucho stressita aka "loosing it" right now. One of these things might help.”

And if it doesn’t work perfectly… That’s okay.

If completing this exercise feels difficult, that’s okay. If you create a crisis plan but can’t remember to use it when you’re overwhelmed, that’s okay too. If something that usually helps suddenly doesn’t help anymore, that’s okay.

Our needs can change. Sometimes our plans need adjusting. Sometimes we need to practice before something becomes easier to access. There is no perfect crisis plan. What matters is that you’re showing up for yourself. You’re learning what you need. You’re paying attention to your experience. And you’re creating a little bit of support for the version of you who might need it most.

That’s something worth being proud of.

If you have your own strategies for getting through moments when everything feels like too much, I’d love to hear them.

And please remember: this is only a suggestion. It may not work for everyone. Take what feels useful and leave what doesn’t.

You know yourself best.